When your partner tells you she’s upset, is it a moment of sharing and an opportunity for closeness, or a fault-finding blame game? How are you hearing her? Do you assume that you’ve done something wrong? Is she saying anything about you at all? Recognizing that her feelings are hers, her experience is hers, and that she—not you—bears ultimate responsibility for them, will help you acknowledge her feelings, her experience, and her perspective—the beginning of a much more rewarding conversation.
Acknowledge: Let Your Partner Know You Understand
Kristen Stone, PhD 