Love Well

Welcome to Love Well. Bobbles are common and even slips and falls when traversing the tough terrain of life together. On this page I will share my clinical pearls of long-term love. Ten facets of committed partnership to contemplate with your lover.

Couple therapy teaches us how to rebuild and maintain deep connection even during times when something is happening between us that does not feel good. Love Well is not couple therapy; it is not meant to teach a process but to support one. Here you will find opportunities to address content pieces of your shared life together.

Let each pearl be a conversation starter, an opportunity to engaged together about specific and important aspects of your life during a time in which things are not heated between you. Be open. Learn from your lover. Express appreciation for what is shared.

Let your goal be to learn.

Each Love Well Clinical Pearl (See below) will be delivered directly to your inbox.

That which we are, we are, and if we are ever to be any better,

now is the time to begin.

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

Love Well Pearls

After decades of diving deep with lovers into the ocean of their experiences, I offer these pearls in the quest for closeness in your long-term relationship.

Nurture Pearls (1 – 3):

#1: Like Your Partner

Permanent Membership into Your Spouse’s Fan Club

#2: Talk to Her

Talk to Me! The Intimacy Women Crave (Men Like It Too)

#3: Have Sex with Him

Have Sex with Me! The Intimacy Men Crave (Women Like It Too)

Strengthen Pearls (4 – 7):

#4: Acknowledge

Let Her Know You Understand

That your partner has shared a feeling in need of validation, doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. It doesn’t mean you’ve slacked in your spousal responsibilities. It doesn’t mean anything about you at all. It does mean your partner is sharing. Anytime that happens in the relationship, it is an opportunity for closeness.

#5: Anticipate

Anticipate Your Partner’s Needs

“What does he need?” If I can’t even be willing to know the one or two things she most needs from me and give it, can I honestly say I’m doing my job?

#6: Express

Express Yourself: Everything You Need on Long-Term Love from your Favorite Madonna Song

Don’t get mad about not getting something you never asked for.

Article later this year.

#7: Just Do It (Yourself)

Your brains are different in how you conceptualize and carry out tasks. If you are feeling resentful of your partner for not doing something you want him to do, exploring why you resist doing the thing yourself can be a revitalizing self-reflection.

Article later this year.

Repair Pearls (8 – 10):

#8: Stay True

Maintaining the viability of the intimate relationship helps minimize any desire to stray. Honesty is essentially the sunlight on the vine.

Article later this year.

#9: Get Real

How to Stop Comparing your Partner to that Person In Your Head

Article later this year.

#10: Be Vulnerable

Let Yourself Be Wooed

There is a soft place in you that believes in your partner, in their capacity to be there for you. Don’t hide it so well you forget how to get back to it. Marriage makes a lot of haters. Be a lover. Stay open to love.

Article later this year.